Just the Tip Review 2. The Only City Left by Andy Goldman

It's time for the another review of the tip, and I must say, I found this one to be a very satisfying experience. The Only City Left had all of the tasty tidbits that a girl could want, and hardly anything that made me think I was being led on.

First up - the description. "Eighteen-year-old Allin Arcady only wants one thing: to reach the Roof of the World and see the Sun for the first time in his life. The problem is, he's lost in the depths of the ruined planet-city called Earth, fleeing the horrors of his past.
When his past catches up to him, Allin is thrust into a science fantasy adventure in which he meets a race of genetically-modified cats, tangles with vengeful werewolves, and parlays with cyborgs. Along the way, Allin is forced to decide: will he spend his whole life running or take a stand against the forces that want to finish off the Earth once and for all?"

I like it. It's short, sweet and to the point, but has enough spice to leave me wanting more. It's not often that you see a novel include cat-people, werewolves and cyborgs (plus ghosts, I discovered) and not come off as extremely hokey. At first I was half-expecting twinkly vampires to pop up in the mix, but thankfully, those seem to be extinct in this dystopian story. I think this description does edge a little close to cliche' land with the fate of the world hanging in the balance, but hey, maybe it really does. Who doesn't love a little end of the world drama? Even so, it is well written and makes me want to read the story, which is the point. A- for the description.

 The Cover. Sorry about the red border, that was actually my fault, and it doesn't show a border on Amazon, apparently my snipping tool added that on. Sigh. I do like this cover, for the most part. The picture that Andy Goldman used is very fitting to the description and the story, and isn't too busy for a cover. I like that he used a picture of the moon instead of the sun, even though Allin is trying to get to the roof to see the sun for the first time. It lends a certain air of trickiness to the story to me, like maybe Allin will make it, but find that the sun isn't there, or only gets to see the moon? I don't know, but I guess I will have to keep reading and find out. 

The only thing that I would look at changing on this cover is the white font for the title. It blends in to the moon and sky (maybe the clouds? or the milky way, possibly?) that are directly behind the words, causing them to bleed together a little. Putting the title in a color would add a little drama and pop, and make it a lot easier to read. It's not difficult to read now, but that might make a difference when viewed as a thumbnail on Amazon. All in all, I would give the cover a B-.

*** Andy Goldman gets extra points here. He does something that I've heard about doing, and plan to do personally, but don't see done often in all of the e-books that I read. And I read a lot of them. Like a lot. Right below the cover page, Andy includes the description of his book again. This is big to me. I know, I know, "You know what the book is about when you decide to buy it, so why would you want the description inside the book again?" most people would ask. My answer is.... BECAUSE I FORGOT. I download a lot of books each time I shop - which I admit is the first thing I should address in this issue lol - but I also read stuff from several different genres. Thus, I like being able to look at the description for a book again when I decide if this is the one I'm in the mood for when I get around to it. So, bonus points. A+ for making this convenient for me, the reader.***

 On to the actual story. We start off with action, which is always nice. The first few pages find Allin, the main character, climbing in the rafters of an abandoned mall, during which he is attacked by a cat and some sort of mechanical man-eating scavengers (more description of these things later would be nice, but not necessary. They served their purpose well and I imagined them as little crab-like things), then basically shoots himself in the foot when he defeats them. But he does defeat them and makes a friend out of the stray kitty along the way. I like that Andy includes an animal as the main character's companion, as it gives him someone to talk to without sounding like a crazy person. I know, talking to animals is arguable on the 0-batcrap crazy scale, but you know what I mean. There was someone to talk to in a world that doesn't seem to have many human inhabitants. 

The pacing of The Only City Left is great. The action kept me on the edge of my seat and wanting to know what happens next, but it wasn't exhausting or overly detailed. It had enough details to help me envision the situation, but not too many that would bog me down, or worse, disagree with how I, the reader, chose to see the setting. Which is nice. The first 4 chapters (my 10K requirement) flew by and I found myself excited to keep reading when I was done. 

This is a first person story, told by Allin, and I think like him. Thusfar, he seems to be a smart, and smart-assed, teenage protagonist. He makes mistakes and screws up, but can recover nicely and still keeps on trucking. He has a few little tricks and gadgets up his sleeve from the get go, which made me curious about what else he's packing. I like that his character has some sort of depth almost immediately. He has a driving goal, secondary goals, fears, sadness and somehow an upbeat undertone that kept me interested in him as a person. He seems to be very well-rounded in the few chapters that I've read, and I think something would have to change drastically to ruin him for the rest of the book. 

The next character is the scrawny stray cat. He (I think it's a he) rounds out the beginning quite nicely, and gives Allin a nice little companion that I hope sticks around. There are several funny moments with the cat and reading about its interactions with Allin gave me a deeper appreciation for the author's voice in the book. I really liked how they play off of each other. 

The only thing about the writing that I can say needs a little work are the run on sentences. Every so often there are a few paragraphs that are really just one very long sentence. These could be broken up to vary the pace, as well as express what's going on a little more clearly. Example - "I fell free for a few more seconds, until the gun's failsafe kicked in and gradually slowed the rope's output so it wouldn't be torn out of my hands when it reached its end." There are several more instances like this, but it doesn't get overwhelming. Thankfully. 

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and will definitely finish it. Possibly this week. I give this one an A. 

The first 10k review is here! Fritz Freiheit's "Dispensing Justice"

First of all, I'd like to say thank you to Fritz Freiheit for volunteering to be the first subject of my Just The Tip Review blog, where I read the first 10k or so words of a novel and post a review accordingly. I'm looking for things like a good hook, relatable characters, unique voice, genre-appropriateness, mechanics and, of course, what I think of the cover & blurbs.

On to Dispensing Justice.... The official blurb on Amazon reads, "In 1947, a near-Earth supernova's wavefront washes the solar system with cosmic radiation. Thirty seven years later, high school freshman Michael Gurick's father is killed combating cyborg supervillains. With a little help from his friends, Michael takes up his father's super-identity to seek justice against the cyborgs who killed his father-or will it be revenge? (Illustrations by Matt Howarth)

Long description:
Michael is just another high school freshman genius concealing his potential until the day his father--secretly a superhero and member of the crime fighting Nova League, is killed in battle. Suppressed grief turns to confusion when a nearly perfect duplicate of his father picks Michael up after school. At home they find Michael's mother is on the brittle edge of a breakdown, refusing to acknowledge that she too saw her husband die and playing along with the duplicate's charade. A family melt-down is averted by the timely arrival of Michael's oldest friend Penny and her family armed with a casserole, salad, and pie. Penny's mother--another secret member of the Nova League--imposes domestic peace with the same practiced ease that she fights supervillains, albeit with fewer broken bones.
In the days that follow, Michael only wants to retreat to the secret lab beneath his suburban home and prepare for vengeance upon his father's killers. A run-in with members of the varsity football squad leads to a pummeling and the realization that fitting into his father's old battle-suit isn't the only leverage he needs. He needs a master plan for wreaking justice. Falling for the blind daughter of his martial arts instructor isn't part of the plan, nor is fending off the well-meaning attacks of Penny's twin younger siblings before they fatally cheer him up. His life and the plan become more complex as his best friend starts to develop powers, and doubly so when he finds out that his father's legacy was more than just a battle-suit and a place to hang it, but the well-being of the supers community as well.
Michael's story plays out in Nova Genesis, a world that diverged from ours in 1947 when a supernova bathed our system in deadly cosmic rays. Without the intervention of the interstellar civilization of the Galactics, life on Earth would have been wiped out. Instead, humanity is altered, a few made more--or less--than human. Thirty-seven years later the second generation of supers born on Earth are starting to come into their powers. Michael and his friends, some reluctantly, some enthusiastically, find themselves becoming part of a new generation of heroes."

For starters, I would either choose the long description or the short one, but probably not both in the same box. The long description is clearly very long and unfortunately has a few editing missteps that I think would turn people off of buying this book. I think the blurb could be really great, as Dispensing Justice has definite potential, but the point gets a little lost in translation. Another editing pass and some consolidation would probably go a long way in helping this section. Still, the book does sound interesting if you're into the teenage superhero scene, which I am.

Next up, the cover. I think that this has promise too, but there are a few things that I would change again. 

First of all, let me say that the style of this cover reminds me very much of one of my favorite books when I was a kid - My Teacher Flunked the Planet and the rest of that series. I like the use of bright colors and the radiation green is very fitting to the story.

However, there are a few things that throw me off about this. First of all, the image of outer space and odd bug-man looking astronauts doesn't match up with the book's description(s) at all. This cover gives the impression that the story will be set in space (otherwise why use a spacey theme, right?) but it's set in high school, at least in the beginning. Not very spacey. The only thing that I read in the first 10k words of Dispensing Justice that fits in with this picture is that the main character's super powers were triggered by radiation from a nearby supernova, and the planet was subsequently saved by the Intergalactic Counsel of aliens. Then they leave. And there is no more space talk for a long time. Honestly, it sounds more like this kid is on his way to becoming Batman sooner than he will become Neil Armstrong, at least by the first 10k of the book and the description on Amazon, which doesn't really mention space travels either. But I could be wrong. Soooo.... I think that either the cover or the blurb are a little misleading on that count. 

My next issue with the cover is that I don't think that the red text shadow effects used on the author's name, illustrator's name and series title are working well against the space background. Or possibly any background. They are a little distracting. Plus the title font reminds me of an old west saloon sign, which there are none of in this story, as far as I can tell. This isn't Firefly. All in all, I think that with the font fixes taken care of this would be a great cover for a kid's novel about a space adventure, but unfortunately, not really a high school superhero story. 

On to the inside... There are a lot of chapters in this book. Like a lot a lot. And they are all named, but not numbered inside the actual book. They are numbered in the table of contents, but somehow that didn't make it to the copy, and this was a little annoying for me. However, the chapter titles are generally cute and are fairly accurate at foreshadowing, but don't really spoil any surprises. 

The chapters are all very short and quick to read through, giving the story an almost episodic feel. I can see how this structure is very appealing and well suited to a younger audience, which this book feels like it is targeted to. The characters have several moments of brief "Ugh, school kinda sucks" attitude that every kid feels at some point or another.  

The story itself is pretty engaging, and I really enjoyed it once I got into it. I will probably finish reading it after this, so look for it in the full-length review section eventually.

That being said, I had a hard time getting immersed in the first few pages. Mainly because of the hyphens. I know, that's a weird thing to say, but it felt like something was hyphenated in every paragraph for the first several pages (being read via kindle on my ipad) and that was distracting, to say the least. This issue worked itself out and later the story read a lot more naturally, but damned if those hyphens didn't throw me out of the world quite a bit for a while. Which-I-think-is-the-exact-opposite-of-what-writers-want-for-the-first-few-pages. See? Distracting, isn't it? Plus it's a pain to type like that. 

Dispensing Justice has quite a few humorous tidbits thrown in that at least made me smile, which is always nice in a book. I liked the main characters, Mike and Penny, and do want to know what happens to them next. Fritz did a great job creating a good hook in the beginning of the story, and made me want to keep reading to find out what happens with Mike's quest for vengeance/ justice/ it's all the same thing really. I want to know more about Penny, who has potential for much girl badassery. 

All in all, I would give the first 10k of this one a solid B. It has good writing, an interesting plot that makes me want to keep reading, relatable characters and sounds like fun without too many mechanical/ proofreading / editing errors. I still think one more polish from a good editor would have taken care of the hyphens and several other little typos / oopsies but for the most part, they weren't bad.

Thanks to Fritz Freiheit for volunteering to be the first book reviewed here on Just The Tip, and thank you all for reading! Leave me your thoughts in the comments! 

  

Welcome to Just The Tip Reviews!

Welcome to the first ever post of Just The Tip Reviews, where I have decided to start reading 2-3 books per week and posting reviews on the first 10,000 words. If I like the book and it sucks me in enough to read past that, I will eventually get full reviews up on the books later on down the road, but I will be focusing mainly on the first 10k as my primary subject matter.

Why the first 10k, you ask? Capturing a reader's attention on the shelves is hard. Convincing them to buy your book is even harder. Once that happens, most authors think that they have succeeded. They have, to a degree. 

But... what about when the reader opens the book and begins to read? Will they be happy with the product? Will the story suck them in? Will they become enthralled and lose themselves in your work for hours, or get disgusted with the tense changes and incorrect grammar, confused by tangled plot lines, alienated by strange characters, or even worse, just bored? Having a good blurb and cover are great to get attention, but you have to have great content to keep it. 

Thus, Just The Tip Reviews has come into being. Because the first 10k is essential to keeping your readers' attention and bringing them back for more.